How to Become a Pen Pal
Step 1: Submit a volunteer interest form
Step 2: Attend a mandatory online training
Trainings take place approximately once a month on Zoom. Check out our calendar for upcoming times.
Step 3: Receive addresses & begin writing!
After attending the online training, you’ll receive the addresses for your pen pal(s) and begin writing! More tips and additional information for being a pen pal are included below.
“I learn something new from my pen pals every time I get a new letter.”
– Odessa, Abolition Apostles Member
Sending mail to prisons
Please use only white paper (lined is okay); some facilities return colored paper. You are welcome to hand-write your letters or write them on the computer. You are also welcome to include printed paper, but some facilities have a restriction on the number of pages so please limit the amount you include. Different prisons have different policies on what can be included in an envelope (for example, stamps) – please ask your pen pal what you can and can’t send.
On the top of each page of your letter, write both TO: [Your penpal’s full name, DOC number, and facility address] and FROM: [Your name and address]. This helps to make sure that your letter will be delivered to your pen pal if it is separated from the envelope, which frequently happens.
All prison mail passes through a mail room where it is opened and inspected. You should have no expectation of privacy. Expect delays. Prison mail often takes weeks or even months to receive. Letters can be held up in the mail room and withheld by guards as a punishment. If a person who is incarcerated lacks stamps, envelopes, or writing paper, they will not be able to reply to a letter until they obtain these things.
In addressing your envelope, always include the full address of your pen pal with the Department of Corrections number. Letters will be returned if they lack this number. For example, your letter address might look like:
John Doe 123456789
Facility Name
Facility Address
City, State Zip Code
People on the inside get transferred often, and there is not always a great system to let people know what their new address is. You can use locator tools to confirm what their address is using their DOC number (or, for people in ICE Detention, their A-Number and country of origin). Possible resources include VineLink.com, the BOP Inmate Locator, the ICE’s Online Detainee Locator System, and state locators by Googling “[State name] inmate locator.”
For the return address, please put your full name plus your personal address. If you cannot use your own address, you could consider opening a PO Box or using a digital service like JPay. In orientation meetings, we’ll discuss options for return addresses in more detail.
Other Tips for Pen Pals
Thank you so much for your interest in connecting with a pen pal! We hope that you will find this page helpful, especially if you have never written to people who are incarcerated before.
First off, people who are incarcerated are people.
Approach your first letter as you would any new relationship – in a spirit of openness and curiosity. Introduce yourself and let them know you are writing as a pen pal through Letters for Liberation (formerly known as Abolition Apostles). Share some basics about where you live, what you do for work or what you study in school, and what you like to do for fun. If your pen pal’s letter includes something you’d like to ask more about, go ahead.
You are a lifeline.
Many of our pen pals on the inside have been incarcerated for years or decades and no longer have living family or other outside support systems. Others are estranged from family or friends. When we enter into relationship with these people, we provide a vital connection to the free world. It’s a responsibility we take seriously, and we ask that you do so as well.
Express and maintain boundaries.
It’s all right to set boundaries with your pen pals. We know from conversations with formerly incarcerated people that folks inside often think of pen-pal writing as an opportunity for romantic connection. We have no judgment about that, but it’s not what our work is about. If you receive a letter that feels “datey,” or is sexually explicit or otherwise inappropriate, you can be clear with your pen-pal that you are not willing to communicate in this way. If you need to cease communication with a pen pal for these or any other reasons, please let us know.
People are more than the worst things they have ever done.
Do not ask about conviction histories. We strive to support the social and spiritual needs of our pen pals, and to focus on their humanity. Let people share what they wish in their own time.
Resources for Penpals
- National list of Books to Prisoners Projects. Get your pen pal connected to resources for free books!
- Looking to write your first letter? Here are some ideas to help you get started!
- Not a dating service letter in English and Spanish. Did you receive a letter from your pen pal that has romantic overtones? This form letter has some sample language to consider using to clearly communicate that Abolition Apostles is not a dating service.
- Our former Legal Working Group developed this sample letter to help outside penpals with writing letters of support for their inside penpal’s parole hearing(s)
- Check out this previously collaboratively created compilation of resources that your penpal might be interested in. While this list is no longer maintained, we hope it can be helpful!
- Other organizations have created wonderful guides for pen pal letter writing, such as this one from Survived & Punished or this one from the SxHx Collective.
Volunteer Privacy Policy
Any data we collect to set up pen-pal relationships or donations– collected online or offline – will not be sold or traded with any entity. The information provided may be shared to accomplish the purposes previously stated. By sharing your information with us, it could be shared with tools managed by:
- WordPress
- Airtable
- GoFundMe
- Venmo
- SubStack
Within our organization, only our tech volunteers will directly access the data you provide.
